Pessimism on a Thursday

I'm sitting in the hall trying to study for my cultural anthropology midterm that is next Wednesday right after getting out of my forensics exam. After my midterm is over I have to compile all my sources for my archaeology research paper (if you know me then you know I am doing something related to death and Egypt). After I compile all my sources then I have to get ready for my oral book review and midterm (on the same day, mind you) in archaeology. After that is over then I'm off to Chapel Hill where I will most likely be there physically, but I'm pretty sure my mind will have turned to mush by then. After I get back or maybe before who knows I have a cultural paper due and then my research paper draft is due the next week which means that somewhere between all my other work and workING and maybe eating and probably not sleeping I have to start writing that draft. Then I have a forensics exam. Then I have a review of a TEXTBOOK due (not just a little nothing site report or anything an Introduction to Anthropology textbook). Also if you know me, then you know that back at UNC I frequently took all the books that the grad students were done with, which included a lot of intro books. So there. Then, the week after my forensics exam my research paper is due AND the Panthers play Atlanta in Atlanta so we all know how THAT will go. AFter that is Thanksgiving. By this time my stomach will no longer recognize the need for food and it will have started digesting my innards which will, happily, result in my being smaller. I will not eat at Thanksgiving because if I do I'm pretty sure something will happen that will warrant a trip to House and I will have some sort of really weird enzyme/AA/protein/vitamin/mineral deficiency where I will almost die but at the last moment he will think of something incredibly WEIRD that has no connection to anything discussed previoiusly and I will be magically cured. Or I'll have lupus. The week after Thanksgiving is teh LAST WEEK of classes. But this is NOT happy oh no. Because I have my cultural research paper (on culture, of course), an article critique, summary, and presentation.

AND THEN

It's time for exams. I have all three of my exams in a row (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday) each 2.5 hours long. BUT after December 10th I will be done with Fall Semester 2008!!! But this is not the end of work, oh no! Because, you see, at the end of Spring Semester 2009 we have this wonderful thing called a COMPREHENSIVE FINAL/THESIS-INTERNSHIP PROPOSAL where we have to defend our thesis or internship proposals and THEN answer questions that can be asked from any of the material since Wednesday, August 20th, 2008. And then, MAYBE after May 8th, 2009 I can maybe sleep and eat. Maybe. Oh! Except I forgot that while I'm doing ALL of this I am also working Monday-Friday (on Tuesdays until 9) and every other weekend except that I worked last weekend and I'm working this weekend. Which is not every other weekend. But at least I am making money so that I can continue to pay my self-torture fees every semester and get a degree that will probably/hopefully get me a somewhat good job and maybe THEN I can have time to eat and sleep. Because you know what? As of May whatever 2010 I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL. DONE. No PhD program, no more school, no more papers, no more teachers dirty looks. Unless, there's a hormone for academics (like there is for women so they don't remember how they though they were dying when they were giving birth) where we forget all the torture and sleep-less nights, and alienation of people, and I decide to go back to school. But if I do decide to do that then I probably do go need to see House because only someone with a serious organ system problem would decide to do that.